Let Go of ‘Trying To Fix’ and Access Your Fairy Dust

You may have learned to ‘let go and let god.’ You are allowing the Universe do the ‘heavy lifting’ for you. You are allowing things to unfold instead of always pushing to make them happen. You are spending blissful days in the ‘flow’. You’re really nailing this Law of Attraction stuff. But what happens when disaster strikes? Do you pop your bliss bubble and return to trying too hard?

Learning to ‘co-create’ with the Universe instead of trying to control behaviours, situations, outcomes and people is a real trip. To discover that the Universe can (and will) deliver you a magical outcome that did not require you to over-think, over-analyse, over-plan, over-do or even TRY. I mean, woah it’s just too good to be true!

How blissful it is to be in that state of pure flow when everything seems clear, simple, easy, effortless? You can just let stuff go with a puff of fairy dust and you wonder why you spent so much time stressing about everything. It’s as if you are skipping joyfully through a field of daisies on a clear Summer’s day…

BUT THEN…

Thunder.

Lightening.

Torrential downpour.

Trampled daisies and an allergic rash.

Something happens. A drama. A trauma. A ‘trying’ circumstance. And it’s gone! The clarity, the flow, the ease…all gone. All of a sudden you wouldn’t know Bliss if it followed you on Instagram. Why is it that when the shit hits the fan, you forget to hand that shit over to the Universe and instead fall back into the habitual pattern of trying too hard to fix it yourself?

When triggered, you somehow completely forget the ‘magic’ of the unfolding and effortless flow and instead find yourself in a complete panic – manically searching for answers and solutions, signing up to a million mailing lists, frantically downloading podcasts and eBooks, feverishly grasping for healing sessions and techniques, declaring extreme dietary or detox measures – basically just kicking and screaming in resistance to your current emotional or physical state with a desperate need to change it ASAP. Any notion of ‘co-creating’ with the Universe disappears as fast as you can say ‘Oprah’ and your Ego steps in like a mother walking into a sleeping teenager’s bedroom at midday to forcefully pull back the curtains to a blinding light. It then sternly announces: “That’s it! Enough of this magical nonsense! I am taking back CONTROL of this SITUATION! If you think you are going to meditate and aromatherapy yourself out of this one, you are seriously delusional! Sitting there doing nothing and ‘returning to nothing’ is going to do absolutely NOTHING. Put down that rose quartz right now! If you want to change this outcome you need to DO SOMETHING. You need to make it happen. If you want things to change – you’re going to have to TRY!”

It seems as though when things get trying, you default to trying. When failing, the logical solution appears to be to try harder. When something really catastrophic happens, it just doesn’t feel right to relax, light a candle and construct a crystal grid. It feels right to stress out, worry, and go into action mode. But most often you find the harder you try to deal with or fix the problem, the worse it gets. Trying harder causes more stress, frustration and annoyance. So why do you do it?

When you’re in a trying situation (a crisis, drama or trauma) you feel overwhelmed and so you lose trust that all of your basic needs are already met, you simply do not feel safe, loved or free. You default to feeling completely powerless. Ultimately, the overwhelm has disrupted your connection to Source energy and you feel abandoned, separate and helpless. This state is extremely stressful and you would DO anything to get yourself out of it. So that is what you do. You TRY. You CONTROL. You FIGHT. You SEARCH. You FLEE. You FIX. You decide to EXERT EFFORT to get your power back. You try harder to get out of the powerless state.

Yet, all of this exertion of effort in the pursuit of power is exhausting because the Ego is attempting to resolve the issue all on its own WITHOUT connection to Source Energy (and the support of the Universe). The Ego is not interested in handing anything over to the Universe, calling in support or surrendering the uncomfortable feelings of physical or emotional stress to the healing forces of nature – it is only interested in fixing, overcoming or beating the problem (often into submission!). The Ego is unaware that it is not (and never has been) the source of power. It has been programmed to believe that only effort will resolve problems and if you just ‘try hard enough’ you’ll get the result you want. Yet, in the most trying of circumstances (such as severe illness, a relationship break-up or the loss of a loved one) rarely will ‘trying harder’ yield you any results.

When you find yourself in trying circumstances, this is actually the very moment in which surrendering and ‘handing it over’ to the Universe would serve you the most. When you feel stuck in a dark hole of despair and powerlessness, the best thing you can do is to stop trying so hard to get out of it and simply restore your connection to Source energy (your true source of power).

Not only is this counter-intuitive, it is extremely difficult to do when you are programmed to ‘try your best’ and fight, flee or fix. Realising that you don’t have to control and fix everything can be quite freeing and reducing your focus back to the present moment to connect with Source energy can bring blessed relief. But how do you stop your habitual trying and find your way back to connection?

It’s surprisingly simple. Find a manageable way (any way!) to release, comfort or nurture your feelings of overwhelm. Allow these feelings to discharge or subside until you are ‘back online’ and connected to the love and support of the Universe in whatever form that takes. A common block to taking simple actions to restore your connection could be the expectations you have of yourself. Are you expecting to pull yourself out of a depressed slump straight into energised joy? It’s unrealistic. Take it down a notch and just aim for the ‘mildly depressed’ state at the next rung up the ladder. Allow yourself to ‘ease’ yourself through the spectrum of emotions, incremental improvements are the key here.

You might also be addicted to doing what you think you SHOULD do to cope, rather than tuning in to what you FEEL does work for you. Sometimes in the depths of overwhelm eating a raw food diet, meditating or attending a yoga class is just too hard. It takes more effort than you can manage. Perhaps taking a sniff of Lavender or eating a piece of chocolate is all the effort you can muster. Be kind to yourself and do the small nurturing acts that don’t require you to try. When you’re in a state of overwhelm, expecting more from yourself creates more overwhelm. Learn to expect less from yourself.

When you are back ‘online’ and connected to Source, the answers will appear, the support will arrive and the inspired solutions will flow. You’ll know when you are connected because the ‘way out’ of the problem will be clear and most importantly, it will feel do-able. And…you’ll probably have access to fairy dust.