Take the Door-Knocker Challenge
You pull the curtain back and peer out your front window to see them coming through your front gate. As you curse the fact that you forgot to lock the gate, you see it. The lanyard around their neck. With a laminated photo ID.
Uh oh.
This can only mean one thing, and one thing only…
A CHARITY DOORKNOCKER.
Dun da dun dun.
This is your moment. You only have seconds to decide before the doorbell rings.
What do you do?
A) Quickly drop the curtain and crouch down under the window hoping to God they didn’t see you – you set boundaries by ‘PRETENDING YOU’RE NOT HOME’
B) Quickly scavenge your database of bogus excuses to retrieve a convincing one you can use to politely decline the request with as much confidence as possible – you set boundaries by ‘POLITE LYING’
C) Quickly run to the kitchen and put the kettle on before surveying your kitchen pantry for suitable biscuits – you’re default boundary is set to ‘OVER-WELCOMING’
D) Quickly do nothing at all except freeze, paralysed by the terror that any action is futile, there’s a direct debit form with your name and signature already on that clipboard – you’re a boundary-less ‘DEER IN THE HEADLIGHTS WHO CAN’T SAY NO’
When it comes to boundary-setting can I tell you that I’m guilty of ALL FOUR scenarios?
I’ve tried everything. And failed miserably.
I once visited my mum’s house during Summer to have a ‘day by the pool’ when a bunch of Mormons turned up.
Her front gate opened directly onto the pool area so ‘Pretending to not be home’ was out of the question.
I’d also recently read about a man going to jail for giving Mormons a plate of hash cookies, putting them in hospital with hallucinogenic poisoning, so I also ruled out the ‘Over-Welcoming’ approach.
The Mormons asked me if I’d like to hear about the word of the Lord.
I responded by telling them I was “too busy.”
While lying on a banana lounge. 😳
Yep. No surprises that ‘Polite Lying’ had totally failed me.
To their credit, they didn’t skip a beat before asking if there was anyone else at home who’d be interested in hearing about the word of the Lord.
To which I became a ‘Deer in the Headlights’ and responded:
“I don’t know, I don’t live here.”
Yep.
So, to recap the visual for you: on a hot summer’s day there stood a couple of sweaty Mormons in black suits, watching me lie on a banana lounge in a supposedly complete stranger’s house (whom I couldn’t be sure if they were home), while I told them I was too busy to hear the word of the Lord.
That’s some solid boundary-setting folks. And look, while they may’ve had a few doors slammed on them during their time, I’m pretty sure they’d never been so confused.
Anyway, the moral of the story is this:
The simple act of dealing with a doorknocker or any unsolicited request will reveal something very important about the state of your energetic boundaries:
Can you receive any request and accept or refuse it with clarity, calmness, and confidence?
Can you quickly and easily discern what you need and when?
Can you effortlessly decide what to let in and what to keep out?
Poor energetic boundaries are at the root of SO many physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual problems for my clients. And in my experience working with the Mind-Body connection, I’ve learned that setting boundaries requires INNER TEAMWORK. Your Mind, Body and Heart must be ON THE SAME PAGE when it comes to maintaining the integrity of your energy system.
Misalignment can occur when:
the Mind wants to say NO and the Body (in a habit, addiction or coping mechanism) will undermine it and say YES. (Think saying yes to things when you really want to say no because you’re a programmed people-pleaser)
the Body wants to say YES (to manifest something new or let in something positive) but the Mind will undermine it and say NO. (Think saying no to things that you really want because you don’t believe you deserve them)
the Mind and Body are not upholding boundaries because they’re not connected to Heart-based values such as self-worth, self-respect, and self-compassion. (Think not having the foundation of feeling worthy enough to do or have what you want)
So here it is – your ‘Doorknocker Challenge’:
The next time you’re confronted with an unsolicited request – pause and scan your body, your mind, and your heart.
What, if anything, gets activated?
Is there calmness? Is there clarity? Is there confidence?
Do you feel integrated and aligned and that your WHOLE system is clear on what your answer is?
How can you achieve some ‘Inner Teamwork’ to strengthen your response?
Good Luck! Let me know how you go!
ONLINE WORKSHOP:
Monday 6th March, 7:30pm
If you want to learn a simple process for aligning the energy centres of your mind, body, and heart then join me for a 2 Hour Online Workshop. At the end of this workshop you’ll feel connected, with a sense of inner harmony knowing that your mind, body and heart are all on the same page and working together to help you stay energised. You'll be able to trust yourself and your ability to maintain energy boundaries that help you to let in what nourishes you and keep out what drains you.