OOPS! I FOUND MY LIFE PURPOSE SEEKING HELP FOR MY SON

THE WISDOM OF KIRSTEN DUNKLEY

When Kirsten first scooted (quite literally – she had a scooter) into the clinic with her son Quinn about 10 years ago, I don’t think either of us knew what we were in for!

I instantly loved Kirsten. She has a sharp mind, a dry wit, and wears her compassionate heart on her sleeve. What I most love about Kirsten’s story is that it truly demonstrates how your life purpose finds you – in one way or another, even if the messages must come through other members of your family!

In Quinn’s first session, his body stated that Kirsten should come for sessions. I had never seen that happen before. Sure, I knew that every parent who comes into the clinic would benefit from sessions just as much as their child, but this was peculiar in that Quinn’s body was literally instructing Kirsten to have a session!

Thankfully Kirsten informed me that she was always up ‘for the weird stuff’ and so she agreed to come in for a session to surrogate for Quinn. In Kinesiology terms, surrogation is the process of allowing one person’s body to stand in for another person’s body. This means that I could muscle-test Kirsten’s body to access Quinn’s body. Weird I know, but anyone who has ever experienced it quickly gets past this because the results are so mind-blowingly accurate and fascinating!

Again, Kirsten and Quinn surprised me. I assumed that Quinn just wanted to get some messages through to Kirsten about his own challenges. This was not the case. Kirsten’s session revealed some very clear instructions. For the benefit of Quinn’s healing, she needed to start actioning her life purpose. I remember feeling very privileged to be part of the process as it unfolded. It was breathtakingly beautiful; it was though Quinn had become somewhat of an angelic ‘messenger’ to help Kirsten to hear her life’s calling.

From that day forward, Kirsten came regularly for sessions. And we focused purely on her. In this child-centric era, it was trailblazing!

Kirsten’s energy has always had a very purposeful undercurrent. She is clearly highly competent, extremely intelligent, and multi-talented. Yet she found that her purposeful energy was being distracted if not consumed by taking responsibility for her entire family, assisting her kids with various problems and an unyielding addiction to the online game Fishdom. 

But I’d really like you to hear about Kirsten’s experience in her own words. Read on for the full interview.

B: What made you come to your first session?

K: I came to see you because Quinn was having trouble at school with a myriad of things. And then I came back to the next session to surrogate for Quinn. And then we discovered that all of the things in him were in me.

B: What made you continue coming to sessions?

K: Well, dealing with my shit to help Quinn mean that I was dealing with my shit! And it was so helpful, so I just had to keep doing it. And because of all the layers, there’s always layers…

B: What have the benefits been?

K: I'm able to do shit now. I couldn't do anything. I was stagnant. I was just stuck. I was full of blocks. And now I can just kind of move on with it. I mean, I still get blocks. But I just don’t get stuck in the block.

B: And, so, you came to help your son, but what did you end up getting?

K: I'm now an artist. How about that?

B: Amazing. Do you remember one of the first aha moments you had that got you on the path to being an artist?

K: I remember when I decided I could do the art course. I was talking to someone who had already done it and I kept asking her all about it every week. And she actually said to me, why don't you do it? Why don't you stop asking me? Why don't you do the course?

And I went, I couldn't do that.

And then she said, why not?

And I'm just like, oh, don't be silly. And then I'm like, actually, why not?

Which is all the stuff that I learned with you. Like, right? Why not? Why not me? What's stopping me? I know what's stopping me. It's me. I'm stopping me! I just didn't think I was worthy of it. Until then I hadn’t believed that I was worthy of having two days a week to do something that I want. And here I was challenging myself - why not? Why can't I? And then deciding: Of course, I can.

B: In your energy coaching sessions over the years, what is the main thing that have you un-learned?

K: Oh, geez I’ve unlearned that I'm not worth it. And just all the limiting beliefs, all the stuff that I used to stop myself doing things. Because I thought they were real and they weren't.

B: And what is the main thing that have you learned?

K: Earlier this year I dealt with the death of my dad. And I never thought that I would’ve dealt with it in the way that I did. I'm crying now of course, but you know, I just went through the grief process. And I just I've learned from you that you just have to go through stuff. It's okay. Like, you can't just erase things. You can't just wish that you didn't have to go through it. You just have to go through it. And it's fine.

With everything in life, you have to deal with it. And I can. I'm capable of dealing with it. And yeah sometimes it's hard, but it doesn't mean that you can't deal with it. It’s just your feelings. It's not good or bad. You don't have to assign a judgment or a label on anything.

So I think the main thing is that I trust that I can cope with things. And I'll be okay. Because, I mean, yes, I show up and you make me do things and you make me do all the outer spacey things and bold stuff that I'm very cynical about but you know, it all works. It's all true.

And I've got the skills to be able to see things in a different way.

I don't really know how to put that into words. But it’s like…I can see these things that go on in life, but they're not necessarily happening to me, they're just happening.

You know how there's that victim mentality where people are ‘why me?’

I've never been a why me person. But now I can see why. Stuff just happens, and you just have to go along with it because if you push against it you just you're gonna end up damaged.

And I think I've got so many more skills than I ever had. It's almost like I feel like I'm more mature and more of an adult. Ha ha.

B: In what ways do you now feel more connected to yourself and your essence?

K: In lots of ways. I can't really explain it. But I guess I’d say that I feel like I'm more in my body. And I feel like I understand myself.

Before it felt like was just kind of drifting along and not really paying attention to myself and how I did things. And now I'm just like, okay, I'm aware of what's causing this or that problem in my life and that's a really good thing. I'm just able to ‘see’ myself. And that’s really cool.

B: In what ways do you now feel that you’re more truly expressing the essence of who you are?

K: It’s everywhere and in my work obviously…but it’s also in how I deal with other people. I don't deal with dickheads anymore. I don't let people make me do things that I don't want to do. I'm like “Yeah, no thank you”.  “No thank you” is my favourite phrase. I love it. I designed a nice no thank you t-shirt the other day.

B: Ha ha. Love it. And now, tell me…did you see that having sessions for yourself helped Quinn?

K: Yeah, well for both of my kids it helped. And also my relationship with them.

Whenever I was having issues with the kids, I would come to you for session and there was always something in me that was part of the issue. And I could deal with that. And it would help! It has always helped things, always. It sorted out so many issues or niggles. Like the way they used to drive me absolutely insane. I mean, they still do, but not as much. Mainly because I deal with it so differently.

B: I recall doing a lot of work on ‘boundaries’ between you and the kids. Would you say that their behaviours changed as your energetic boundaries changed?  

K: Definitely. Definitely. And the boundary ones, were always instant! Like, I would go out of a session and later that day, when they come home from school, they wouldn’t be as in my face or, you know, bothering me. It was straight away.

B: And, after a few years you began doing group sessions of energy coaching. So, to wrap up I’d just like to touch on what you like most about doing group sessions?   

K: I LOVE group sessions. It’s amazing how we always have the same issues that come up. And I love it that I don’t feel alone in it. I can really relate to what’s going on for others and they can relate to what’s going on for me.

But I've also found with the group work that it's made me able to see other people's stuff a lot more clearly. At the beginning when we’re dealing with someone else’s stuff, I’d think that it has nothing to do with me and I would like just sit and listen. But now I'm like, oh, I know what it is that is going on for them. I know what's wrong. So just that helps you do it for yourself. I love the group sessions for that. It just gives you more perspective and helps you building a skill at the same time.

Kirsten has completed a Certificate III Visual Arts at Northern College of Arts and Technology (NCAT) and a Diploma of Visual Arts at RMIT and NCAT. Her work has been featured in a number of group exhibititions.

You can check out her website here: https://www.kirstendunkleyartist.com/

And follow her on insta here: https://www.instagram.com/kirstendunkley_art/

#we_are_wisdom

I love Kirsten’s story because it beautifully demonstrates several things about Energy Coaching:

FOLLOW THE FLOW

You can come with a ‘problem’ which appears to be the most pressing issue AND you can also make lots of assumptions about why it’s there (and how to fix it) BUT the root cause of it can be so widely different to what you’d expect. And when you follow the energy, to where the energy wants to flow and how it wants to be expressed, it can be an amazing and rewarding journey at the same time as resolving the problem you started with!

EVERYONE BENEFITS

Energy coaching will often choose the most appropriate person in the family to ‘do the work’ and when that person does the energy work the entire family benefits. As one person changes their energy it changes the energy dynamics in their relationships, in the family, and in their home or space. Changing your energy flow internally can and does change the flow externally. Amazing!

YOUR HEART WINS EVERY TIME

Energy coaching will always insist that you BRING YOUR ESSENCE TO LIGHT. In fact, every problem in your life will continue to be a problem until you make the choices that your Heart is asking you to make. Kirsten’s Heart was pretty loud and bossy, if I do say so! LOL. But I have tended to find this with very talented people. There’s something about them that you can sense straightaway. Their Heart’s voice is strong and magnetic, but they’ve drowned it out. And when they come to me it’s like their Higher Self is sitting on their shoulder speaking to me and urging me to help it get through to them. And so, energy coaching is really the art of listening and getting out of your own way. Can you let go of what is blocking your flow and allow your destiny to run the show? When I see what unfolds with people like Kirsten, it’s pure magic. 🪄